I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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