Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
