our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Randomize
