i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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