So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
