They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
