she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
