Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
