he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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