I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
