why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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