at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
meet me or not, i'm out of control
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
