Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
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i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
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so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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