im having a threesome with these popsicles
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
