no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
