Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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