so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
