Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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