Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
