When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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