If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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