Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
