people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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