New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
