Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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