Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Oh god it's open bar.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
