were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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