he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The uberlube is also flammable
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
