You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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