Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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