I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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