I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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