What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just want nice things and good sex
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
