I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
