Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
