is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I did not marry a roomba.
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