we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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