sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
