just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
