when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
