I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
