just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore