Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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