I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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