i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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