Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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