I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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