Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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