how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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