I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
