So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
