Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
