there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
