Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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