I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
