like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
