As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
