OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I can't turn off my feet"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
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