it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
