He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
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