The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
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I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
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You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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