im drinking this country out of the recession.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Alive.
So much puke
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
