dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
