marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
