considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize