Yo dont text me then not text me
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize