hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
