so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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