it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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