also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
