first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
