butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
