easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
don't judge my taste in strippers
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize